Dear Jennifer: In the past two years, I have lost everything, my job, my home, my friends and I barely speak to my family. Although I have been looking for a job, I can’t find one and I’m living with a friend now that I barely get along with. I don’t know what to do to fix my life and I’m having a hard time figuring out my next steps. How do I get my life back and how do I create the stable, secure and happy life that I want?
Jennifer’s Answer: What you are experiencing has been felt by so many people in this past decade and it is hard when everything in your life changes like this. Your response of sadness, fear and regret at these changes are preventing you from creating the new life that you want.
While it may be hard to find the energy and courage to see new possibilities for yourself, that is what you must do if anything in your life is going to transform. You may be wondering why this has happened to you, so let’s talk about the real reasons behind what has happened here. Everything enters and leaves our life at our conscious or unconscious invitation, so it is not possible to actually ‘lose’ anything.
If we don’t appreciate what we have and wish it would go away, we disconnect our energy from it and it must leave our life. To invite something else in, we have to create space for it by setting an intention for it. This process is what creates the in and out flow of people, situations, and experiences into and out of our life.
When we are grateful for what we have and appreciate every circumstance and situation, while we acknowledge when we have ‘run out of energy road’ with people and situations we achieve closure with what we no longer resonate with and its outflow is graceful and effortless.
The empty space we have created with this release is then filled with the new things we have set our intention to receive. But when we feel angry and powerless, when we hate our life circumstances, and are upset with people and with ourselves, we create an energetic disconnection without first creating the space for the new to arrive. We can then find ourselves in the situation you are in, where everything seems to leave at once and our lives are empty. Some questions for you to consider are:
- Did you like the job you had or were you frustrated, angry, and felt limited by it?
- Did you like your friends or were they challenging and did not serve and support you in meaningful ways?
- Are you harboring resentment and anger towards your family that you have yet to resolve with them or within yourself?
- Do you have expectations about how your family interacts with you that they cannot meet because they are incapable of doing that, even if you think they are, or you are trying to get them to do what you want, or you’re
With the energy moving as quickly as it does now, responses to our desires can arrive very quickly. It doesn’t matter whether we are consciously or unconsciously wishing our lives would change, when we scatter our energy through anger, fear, and feeling powerless, we get incomplete results.
The Universe works with us, not for us. It will not create something for us that we do not or will not first create for ourselves. To fill your life with what you love, you must first give yourself closure with what you have allowed to leave your life (what you say you ‘lost’), which is no longer aligned with your energy or intention, by being grateful for it and appreciating what you have already created and the lessons it represents.
Then you need to start working with your intention to create something new for your life now. It may take some time but then again, you are ready for change so it may also happen very quickly. It depends on how willing you are to see yourself as powerful instead of powerless, how much you can accept that everyone is where they can be which may not be where you want them to be, forgive yourself and others and give yourself the closure you need to close these energetic connections to your ‘old’ life and create something new and wonderful in your life now.
You won’t get your old life back (you didn’t like it anyway or you would still have it) but you will create a new and more fulfilling life and learn the powerful lesson of how energy works and how powerfully it responds to you, so you practice gratitude and appreciation and use intention to create your life, instead of scattering your energy unconsciously and then find yourself in the fearful, empty space, as you have experienced.
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I don’t see a light at the end of the tunnel. I am 57 years old and I
have no one to help me. My health is the worse it’s ever been. I can’t
even go to God. My mind is blank, I am constant pain from diabetic neuropathy pain (self inflicted) I just about homeless, a large debt
from school loans and hospital bills. I am sure that I will go to hell
when I die. suicide seems to be my only way out. I should’t be this
messed up at my age, I such a fool. One thing that’s on my side I am
a single man and nobody will miss me.
Glenn, it doesn’t matter if someone will miss you or not. What matters is that you live up to your expectations for your life. Pray to God. He will help you if you dare to ask.
I understand how you feel, I think. I have lost everything in my life just at the age when I “should be” retiring to my golden years. There is no one to miss me either. We only realize what fools we were when we get older & “allegedly” wiser. Single men & women (never married, divorced, no dependents etc) get hit with this the hardest I think. Are you still there?
You’re never a fool Ann but you have shifted from having many biological connections to being able to create your energetic family. Be open to connecting with this new group, they will support you and you can have the relationships with them that were never possible with your biologic and karmic connections.
Glen
There is always light and hope out there, you can ask for help from welfare rights about your debts. If you feel alone maybe you could join your local church or social groups. With the pain get a second opinion until they give you something for the pain you are not old yet and have plenty of life in you you are worth it xx
The church nowadays doesnt help much,if someone has lost everything,help them in all ways,like,u pray for them for at the moment some are very weak,be there for them financially,phsically & emotionally
I LOST EVERYTHING today 2 houses a job and girlfriend
I’ve lost my girlfriend my job my money my friends,and my mind has broken ,I can’t think straight or sleep.ive been through a lot in life ,my brother married my ex wife and stole my two sons from me and moved 5states away,my dad died in front of me at 17 in are living room,my mom died 10 years ago of cancer while I was holding her hand,I’m a tough guy I’ve got through everything and became stronger,but now I’ve lost everything all at once and I’m 47,I’ve never felt like this,I can’t think straight and pray I would just die.i don’t have anyone or anywhere to go,
I’m so sorry for what your going through. I can relate as my ex flew my sons 5000 km away after texting he would be late.
Someone told me if I commit suicide, I increase the risk of my sons one day thinking it’s okay to give up. Now I stay alive for that purpose.
okay so my fiance left me for my daughter my 2 daughters hate me they are 22 and 17 i dont see or talk to either one my grand daughter is only 4 and i dont get to see her any more ive lost that my house my income cars those things can be replaced but not talking to my only family is making me give up a little over a year ago my brother was killed and last but least i even lost my best friend after ten years she was a good dog im at the end of my road i am tired of getting in relationships that are just bad how do i pick up the pieces to my broken road and keep moving on please dont tell me to turn to god thats not what i am about just a little advice….a lost 38 year woman
i have been married for only 17 days when my wife passed away.i feel empty.initially i thought that the pain will decrease but day by day i feel my life has no meaning without her.i have ruminated a lot about suicide but i donot want to cause the same pain to my family.i donot see any purpose in my life.there is no solutuion for my situation.iam just walking dead
I feel nothing about life now. I feel empty. I have lost my job. My wife won’t trust what I am saying now. My friends are trying to avoid meeting me. All my brothers are helpless to help me out. I used to help them all my life. Could you please let me what should I do know. NO wants to hire above 50 years. I have skilled in IT.
You have so many options Tan, and great skills. Stop looking for someone to hire you, make yourself the person they must have and become a consultant — you can make more money. There is a lot of freelance work available, especially for IT people.
Actually I don’t know what what to do..I lost everything in my business… Some of my friend invested money to my business but after big loss…I have nothing…now they all pressuring me to give back their money by this month…but I I don’t have anything to settle than…I am the only earning member in my family after my father passed way….last few days I couldnt go to my home cos every time they come and threating me…my mom also sick…now I cannot take it any more…please help me…please …
It sounds like the people around you need to start pulling their weight, Mahi. Why are you the only person making money? Unless you have very small children, everyone can pitch in and help. This is a time for you to work together, not to try to keep everything going by yourself.
It’s a real shame. I am in the same situation. Single no kids nd no family. I have contemplated suicide over and over. I have been in GA had the so called sponsors who never answered the phone, if you have never had this addiction you don’t know anything. It can ruin you. It’s painful. It’s not easy. I pray for everyone suffering.
i dont know what to do know..i didn’t completed my graduation..i had a shop-one of the best shop in my city..i lost everything because of my drugs addiction and my selfish friends..i am running my business in debts..know any solution to come over this scary life..my mom dad also unhappy with me..i made them to loose everything..i made there bank accounts to nil..please give me an idea..mail me..for furthure advises from you i will provide my contact number also..please help me out with an advice..
Did it ever get better?
My situation is very close to yours.
Energy work being thankful, setting Goals, that’s all correct yet it all boils down to one…Decision making. Yes, making right decisions is the key. Decision making is the same as energy work; everything is energy work.I lost my love, my kids, my home, now my job. All because I made the wrong decisions now karma reactions are setting up my desires accept not what I asked for but what I acted out in my decisions. Here is the kicker, the more I’m down and out the worst I make my decisions, and the more I lose in life. Energy is nothing to play with, it’s real.
Really i appreciate the topic and solutions..i do agree that we are the creator of everything and whatever we think only that decides our destiny and future too.as if one has lost everything financially and emotionally then the first thing should be done ,just to gather our positive energy and must get to get the moral higher that we can face that situation of loss and can do alot for upliftment. this is the daily practice we have to practise. Ultimately the good things will start to happen and certainly we will pull ourselves from the dark and then we will make the effors to regain our list life
I’ve been living with my girlfriend of 3 years and she just told me to move out. It’s sad my friends and family members are all married with kids. I have a ok job but extremely stressful. I desperately don’t want to leave my gf bc it’s so hard starting over in this day in age. new place and etc…I’m in my mid 30s and feel I have no hope or motivation anymore. :/
I traveled overseas to work, teaching English to children, when I returned I had malaria, then i found the toy hauler I put everything I owned inside of was gone, stolen, and all I had was the clothes on my back, living in my car while trying to recover from malaria was tough, but i managed to buy a small damaged caravan using all the money I had, I went to work on it at a factory where I had permission, but then I was kicked out and could not take the van with me because it could not be towed at the moment. So now I have nothing, no money, no bed, nothing but a car, tent, and a phone, family is horrible to me and I have no work or partner. I can understand why people think of suicide.
Same boat here man, wife kicked me out after having me arrested over an argument. Now I have nowhere to go and cannot see my 1 year old daughter. I am going into rehab tomorrow just for some solace and a place to sleep. I am an only child and my parents are even deserting me. Things are looking grim, but I understand that there is light at the end of the tunnel. Each day the pain fades a little more as you begin to pick up the pieces. The last thing either of wants to think about is suicide, that is NOT an option. Im sure there are some jobs you can pick up in the area, lets dust ourselves off and get through this tough time. Youll be okay
I am a final year student paramedic. Last month I did something incredibly stupid; In a very intoxicated state, I committed a crime, this may cause me to lose my career as a paramedic. My fiancee, who I have loved for the past 7 years, I feel is considering leaving me.
I feel like my life is falling to pieces. I may be left with a criminal record, no career, and lose my best friend and love of my life.
I had such a bright future ahead of me and in one night I pissed it all away.
Self sabotage is a very revealing process that speaks to our level of deserving and being able to bless ourselves. If it’s your first offense you may be able to get a reduced or suspended sentence. The key is to use this as a springboard to transformation, maybe you should stop drinking alcohol or learn more self control, and I am not being funny or judgmental. You may be able to patch thing up with your fiancee, depending on what you have done and how willing she is to trust you again. It is not helpful to be self destructive, so take one day at a time and start living your life as though you deserve every wonderful blessing and to explore the farthest and greatest limits of your potential, because you do.
It feels like I’ve lost everything: my spouse, child, home, a lot of money foolishly, and I’m about to lose my job. I’ve sat here for weeks wondering if I should go back to my abusive spouse. I’ve laid around every day idealizing suicide.
This is the first thing I’ve read that has really spoken to me and given me hope. I’ve probably re-read it a dozen times today. I’ve scattered my energy on fearing the impending termination of employment, on holding on to the marriage that’s energy road more than ran its course. I’ve not made space for a better life by clouding my mind with suicidal ideation vs. a good life ideation. I’m solidifying the job loss with making decisions of giving up. The job may be terminated soon but all I can do now is make the decision to appreciate what I have. Today I am stills employed by a company I love. I am grateful that for today I have a job. I may be homeless but I am
grateful for the charity that is providing a roof over my head.
I want to say “I’m worried I won’t be able to stay focused on the spiritual truths I’ve learned today.” But in stead I say: I am focused on these spiritual truths and I am living them!