Are you paying too much for parking?

Are you feeling the August inflection points yet? I have to laugh when I write that because it feels like the world has gone mad and there is no more logic or reason any  more. But sometimes the pendulum has to swing out as far as it can in one direction before it can return to a more balanced trajectory. And that is where we are now on the global stage and in our individual lives too.

If you have been thinking about making big changes in your life, if you are tired of doing the same things, playing out the same dramas, and putting off your dreams for one more day or week or year, it’s time for a change. But first you have to see where you have been ‘paying for parking’, where the stuckness is happening in your life and why. We never pay for parking – stay in one place at a cost to our joy, freedom, and power, without a good reason. And now it may be time to get in the car and move on. That’s the topic of this week’s newsletter.

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Those who know me will laugh when they read this article because they know that paying for parking is one of my pet peeves. I think that parking should be free, and I will go out of my way to look for a free parking spot, rather than paying to park my car somewhere. I can park for free at home – my car is always in the garage. So, when I go somewhere I do not expect to have to pay to park the car that I had to take to get there. And yet that is rarely an option.

When I was in Los Angeles with a friend recently, we drove around for fifteen minutes looking for a free parking spot. Well, I should say that I drove around looking for a free parking spot while my friend sat quietly in the passenger seat, knowing that it was useless to try to talk me out of my quest until I was satisfied that there were no free spots to be had.

We eventually had to pay a nominal rate to park my car because there were no free spaces available. I had to make the choice between paying for parking ($8 an hour) or driving around looking for something that I was not going to find in Los Angeles, free parking!  And if you have ever been to Los Angeles you know that parking in the wrong place can be very costly – they love their parking fines.

This article is not a rant about the cost of parking, it is an introduction to a theme that we express often in our lives, usually without thinking about it. We get into a situation in our lives where we get stuck and don’t realize until much later that we have been sitting in a very expensive parking space. The cost is not monetary, although it can be, it is a cost we can measure in terms of energy, time, power, potential, and joy.

If you look at life situations where you have agreed to help someone or to take on their problems or to get them out of a jam, only to find out that you are now involved up to your eyeballs and it is causing chaos and commotion in your life, you’re paying for parking. And as long as you stay in that situation your cost of parking goes up every minute.

Here’s how it works, and this is an example  I have used before – listen to the podcast to hear the story of my client who parked her life for over 10 years because her family did not want her to move to Hawaii.

Paying for parking in Los Angeles is a tradeoff – I pay to park in a sanctioned parking area instead of taking my chances on the street or in some unknown place where my car could get damaged or stolen. Or I could get a huge parking fine because I am parked in a space that I should not be in. Can you see some parallels in your life here?

We always have an agenda in every life situation and especially in relationships. Now I know that the word ‘agenda’ has a negative connotation and when we think of people with an agenda we think of people who have an ulterior motive.  They want something from us, we want something from them, and everyone wants something from everyone else. This is the truth, it’s not a judgment or a criticism of anyone.

Our agenda can be to be loved, validated, valued, appreciated, and recognized. We want   vindication, resolution, and closure. So we park ourselves in someone’s life and we wait for our reward, which can take a very long time to come to fruition and sometimes it never does.

Do we ever consider that maybe we have an agenda that can’t be fulfilled by that person or in that situation  when we get into relationships and situations with people that we know are going to be a problem? Let’s be honest here, our intuition sends out red flags and warnings that we are entering into a danger zone, and we ignore them or pretend they aren’t there. As I look back on some problematic relationships in my life I can see the red flags and warnings and how I ignored them. And when I got the parking bill I was shocked but glad that I eventually figured it out. What has your agenda cost you in parking fees?

But those agendas can have a very high cost and sometimes we pay for parking for so  long that we forget where we parked the car. Or we look for it in the area where we think it is and we have part of it right but we’re in the wrong place.

That happened to me in Houston, when I took my children to the Astrodome to see the circus. When we got out of the event it was dark and late and we had to walk quite a long way to get to the car.   Now if you have ever been to the Astrodome you know that it is huge, and it has a huge parking lot.  When we got to the Astrodome to attend the circus it was daylight, we were early and the parking lot was relatively empty. But now it was dark, late, the parking lot was full of cars and we were looking for ours.

I had my 3 children with me and we were wandering around the parking lot looking for the car where I knew that I had parked it but we could not find it.

Had someone stolen it? Was I mistaken about where I parked? I did not think so and since I am known for forgetting where I parked, I always carefully noted the parking space.

We walked around for over 20 minutes and then a nice parking attendant saw us and came by in his golf cart. He surely had dealt with this situation before – helping people find their cars in the enormous Astrodome parking lot. He drove us around for a few minutes around the area where I told him that I had parked and we could not find the car.

Then his face lit up and he started to drive faster, towards the Astrodome. I told him that I had not parked  any closer and he was going in the wrong way. He assured me that he knew what he was doing and kept on driving. He drove through the center of the Astrodome and came out on the other side.

Then he drove straight towards an area of the parking lot and stopped right in front of my car. We had been looking in the right place but on the wrong side of the Astrodome, which has parking on both sides of it. We were so happy to see the car that my children hugged it. We got into the car and went home, glad to have finally found the car.

Right spot, wrong side of the astrodome. When have you been in the right place but your agenda has put you in a place where you will never find what you are looking for?   Unfortunately, our happily ever after can be such a powerful agenda that we park ourselves there and then rack up the parking fees thinking that the outcome will be worth it. But it rarely is and when we do get the parking bill and realize what we have foregone in order to get something that would never happen, we can get very self-judgmental and this creates a lot of unhappiness.

We are now faced with these kinds of choices in our lives now, making assessments about what we want to give in exchange for our relationships, and whether the price of staying is one we can afford and want to pay, or  find alternative choices that will bring more joy and fulfillment to our lives. We may have the right intention, we are just in the wrong place for it to manifest.

When we are ready to make profound life changes, we begin to feel the pain of our  difficult and draining relationships. We begin to see where they rob us of our joy, they are not peaceful, they aren’t fulfilling, and we are sending them energy and getting little or nothing in return. 

While we may have been paying for parking, or paying a high cost to stay in that relationship, we no longer want to do that. And we have three choices:  stay where we are and continue to pay the energetic and emotional price, talk to our partners and see if they will change, or move on. 

 A situation you are faced with now may be like ‘paying for parking’, you may not want to do it but changing the rules, introducing your needs or finding a more painless solution may not be an option or it may not be the option you want to or are ready to take. And if you decide that you are no longer willing to pay that price, you may have to risk alienating people in your life, who won’t be happy with any of the choices you make.

When you have been the one they can count on, been their source of power or their support, removing that energy shifts your relationship dramatically. You may feel guilty because they counted on you and they are angry because now they have to find another power and energy resource. You have two options, stay where you are and ‘pay for parking’ or drive on. Both have their drawbacks but eventually the one you’ll choose is the one that gives you the greatest return in joy and peace of mind and heart.

So many of us give endlessly and continuously to others because we feel their pain and we believe that we can help. We  think that if we show up for them they will be grateful and appreciative. But what we believe will be a one-time effort can turn into a long term commitment and now we are doing things we don’t want to do, with no end in sight. In short, we are paying for parking and it is very expensive.

How do we end the situation in a loving way that helps us establish clear boundaries, empowers us and them and doesn’t destroy a relationship? Sometimes all of those results are not possible and we have to choose the one that suits us best. And there are times when we just have to put our needs first, assert our right to have joy in our life, and acknowledge our responsibility in the situation while we disconnect, disengage from our commitments, and move on.

Sometimes the choice is not as easy and we have to stay within a commitment until we can find a better alternative. In that case we can spend time understanding the lesson, seeing how we give our power away and learn to say ‘no’ and really mean it. Just as there are times when I cannot avoid paying for parking, there are times when we have to know when we’re done and make a commitment to ourselves to be more aware of our needs, to see others as powerful and to stay within our power so that we are aware of where we make commitments, especially where we commit to others’ healing, how much those commitments will cost us and whether we are willing to pay that price.

When the price isn’t worth the pain, we will realize that there are better alternatives to that expensive parking spot and we will move on.  But we generally figure that out after we find our car again and have to pay the bill.  Moving on is not a sign of defeat, it’s something entirely different.

That’s a big theme lately, moving on and moving up. But moving on is not just about taking our energy and going home, sad, depressed, disempowered, feeling defeated and angry. It’s about expanding our energetic frequency so that we manage our agendas more powerfully and stop getting ourselves in these kinds of situations.

We do not have to limit ourselves to healing cycles and karmic groups and cycles, we can choose that path and it’s tempting but there are other options now. We just have to manage our emotional agendas more carefully and stop choosing the 3D karmic path over the 5D creation path. It’s always a choice and we are always in the process of considering those options and we will choose the karmic path until we get tired of paying for very expensive parking spaces and then we allow ourselves to choose more powerful, joyful, and empowering options.

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The Energy Purpose & Soul Monthly Energy Toolkit is the resource to using the month’s energies in the best, most beneficial way.  With intense energies, big downloads, and seismic energy shifts you can feel overwhelmed and unaware of the opportunities that these energy movements provide.

With Jennifer’s expert guidance, each monthly Energy Toolkit expands on the month’s energies, provides you with a roadmap for energy success, energy activations and meditations to align with, integrate, and embody the energies. Plus you get two Live and recorded Q&A calls with Jennifer, and the Spiritual Community Saturday, held the last Saturday of the month, where you can connect with others in the community and share your experiences, make connections, and discover your energetic family.

The Energy Purpose & Soul Monthly Energy Tookit is available as a convenient monthly membership or you can purchase the month separately.

Click here to learn more and to get this month’s Energy Toolkit.

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