On the radio show a few weeks ago, a caller asked why her ex-husband wouldn’t leave her alone. She was happy to be out of a difficult marriage and she wanted him to ‘go away’ and never bother her again.
I’ve had several clients think that once they were out of a challenging situation they would never have to see or deal with it again.
Our former issues don’t just disappear, we usually have to face them again but we don’t have to invite them into our lives. They will show up as on option on life’s menu but we can choose something else instead.
This reminds me of my first experience with chicken feet, a dish served at dim sum or yum cha, a smorgasborg served in Chinese restaurants. I was first introduced to dim sum, or yum cha, when I lived in Sydney, Australia.
A friend invited me to lunch with her family at one of Sydney’s best yum cha restaurants. After we said hello and sat down, a throng of servers began to circle the restaurant with carts loaded with steamer baskets and dishes of many different types of food. Whatever we chose from the cart was put on the table.
After the first round of selections, my friend put a small dish on my plate with what looked like fat battered french fries on it. They were chicken feet, a yum cha delicacy and a treat for me, as the guest of honor. Now there are not too many foods I won’t eat (you all know I don’t like tomatoes or okra), and I am not a picky eater, but I could not even consider putting one bite of those chicken feet in my mouth.
At first I thought they were joking — who eats chicken feet? But they were not joking, these were real chicken feet, battered and deep fried, they were on my plate, and I was expected to eat them. After pondering my options for a few minutes I told my friend that it was impossible for me to eat chicken feet and I would be happy to share my good fortune with someone else.
I gave them to her grandmother, who was happy to have them. Towards the end of the meal I looked at her plate and the chicken feet were gone. I guess she really liked the chicken feet and had no problem eating them.
I could have forced myself to eat them to make everyone happy and to not upset my hosts but then I would have had to live with the memory of having eaten ‘chicken feet’ and I could not do that to myself.
Since then I have eaten yum cha quite a lot and laugh when I see that chicken feet are an option, but I don’t order them. I know some people consider them a delicacy, but they don’t appeal to me. I could refuse to go to dim sum because there are chicken feet on the menu or I can let someone who likes chicken feet order them while I choose from the many other delicious items on the food cart.
There are lots of things like that in life, and just because they are there doesn’t mean you have to invite them into your life. But just because you don’t want them, or don’t want to deal with them, doesn’t mean they will disappear or go away.
For the woman who wanted her ex husband to vanish from the face of the earth to feel secure in her closure, he is like the chicken feet on the menu. Not the most appetizing menu option if you don’t like chicken feet, but you don’t have to choose them. That doesn’t mean that someone at your table won’t be happy to have them, but that doesn’t affect you.
On the other hand, if the only way that you can feel secure and victorious is for all of your former life issues to disappear, then there is more healing to do before you feel confident about your own completion and closure.
The belief that we are healed and have closure when all of the people and situations that once challenged us disappear from our lives can make us believe that we are never healed, or that our healing path is incomplete.
These are the ‘chicken feet’ on life’s menu. Wanting them to disappear from the menu forever is unrealistic. Realizing that they will appear and we’ll notice them, but knowing that we can choose to ignore them and choose something else is where we have confirmation that we have closure and are ready to move on.
Bless the ‘chicken feet’ of life’s menu for the lessons you learned from them, then move on and choose something else.
If you like this article and would like to work with me because you are ready for profound personal and spiritual transformation, consider a personal intuitive consultation or intuitive coaching, where we work together to examine your life path, purpose, potential, and possibilities and help you choose one that will bring you the joy, abundance, love, peace and power that you are ready for. Click here to explore the possibilities for transformation.
Copyright (c) 2019-2023 by Jennifer Hoffman. All rights reserved. You may quote, copy, translate and link to this article, in its entirety, on free, non-donation based websites only, as long as you include the author name and a working link back to this website. All other uses are strictly prohibited including using this article as part of a paid subscription or service which consolidates articles from various authors.
The following copyright, trademark, and intellectual property statement is made necessary by the dishonest activities of those who believe that content on the internet is free for use. It is not. Using any content without the express approval and permission of its author is plagiarism, copyright infringement, and theft of intellectual property. Please note the specific mention of Christine Kane, ceo of firepink llc, founder of uplevel you and now the soul sourced entrepreneur below as this strongly worded copyright statement is necessary because she is a prolific content thief and has stolen content from Jennifer Hoffman and used it in her business, programs, and with her customers, since 2012.
We prosecute to the fullest extent of the law anyone who uses any of our content without express written permission and a paid license. Unfortunately, because there are dishonest people in the world who have used and sold Jennifer’s content, such as the Becoming 360 trademark and program based on Jennifer Hoffman’s original content which was stolen, sold, and marketed by Christine Kane of Uplevel You, it is necessary for us to make this trademark statement to protect our rights to our own content, protect it from those who steal, plagiarize, and usurp it for their personal gain, and who engage in illegal profit making from intellectual property that is not their original creation.
Energetic Congruence, True Congruence, False Congruence, Christed Awareness, Martyred Healer, Empowered Master, Life Re-Vibed, Energetic Significance, Light Age, Light Beacon, Becoming 360, Becoming 360×3, Creative Expansion Officer, and Enlightened Mastery are trademarks of Enlightening Life OmniMedia.
Becoming360 is the original and unique intellectual property of Jennifer Hoffman, originally copyright in 2013. Any trademark using the term’becoming360′ is an illegal and fraudulent trademark using stolen IP.
The author retains exclusive right to copyright and trademark of any words or phrases on this page in addition to those specifically named above.
High Vibes Living® is a registered trademark of Enlightening Life OmniMedia, Inc.
All commercial organizations, individual persons, or corporations claiming ownership to material that is the intellectual property, under copyright, and/or all published content of Jennifer Hoffman and Enlightening Life OmniMedia, Inc. shall be subject to criminal prosecution and all legal remedies shall be pursued, including damages and other penalties, under state and federal law. It is illegal to copy someone’s work without permission, to trademark intellectual property that you did not create, and to claim ownership of any portion of content that is not your original work.
This notice specifically includes Christine Kane of christinekane.com of UpLevel You and Firepink, the #soulsourcedentrepreneur who has been illegally using, copying, and plagiarizing content from Jennifer Hoffman since approximately 2012 and maybe even prior to that and is currently under four Cease and Desist orders for copyright infringement, plagiarism, unjust enrichment, theft of intellectual property, and fraud. Her new brand, #soulsourcedentrepreneur is a reflection of how she builds her business using others’ content.