I often hear from my readers, clients, and students that they do not want to cause someone else pain by making changes in their life. It’s a big concern and a valid one but the truth is that you cannot cause someone pain, no matter what you do, for two reasons:  their energetic sovereignty, and their equal ownership in the karma, soul cycles, and soul group dynamics between you. Now this topic is a little controversial and is not easy to rationalize because the universe is not kind, it is just, and there is no good or bad, everything is an exchange of energy.

Everyone you have any kind of interaction with is part of your soul group and has some kind of karma with you. That’s important to remember because if you’re afraid of causing someone else pain, there is some old karma or unfinished energetic business between you that you’re bringing forward. In some way, you feel responsible for their feelings and how they will respond to what you do. This is one way you stay in karmic cycles and continue them, rather than allowing them to close.

One reason you cannot cause someone else pain is that they are energetically sovereign. No matter what is happening between you, they chose to be in that situation with you for their own healing and soul growth. Whether you are the victim or the aggressor, challenging life situations are entered into, from the soul’s perspective, with a clear purpose of healing soul wounds, energetic re-alignment, clearing karma, and removing dense energy from your energy field. This is true for everyone and in every situation.


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So if someone puts themselves on your path and you do not do what they want you to, such as take care of them, love them, or support them, they have a choice to be in pain because of your choices or to accept them and decide what they want to do in that situation. If they choose to be in pain then they’re repeating old karmic patterns. Then you have to choose whether you will engage with them at that level or not, which is a choice to continue old karmic patterns with them or not.

Another reason you cannot cause someone else pain is because everyone is responsible for their own emotions. No one can ‘make’ someone feel anything, all emotions are a choice and they are how we process energy. For example, if you decide to go to university 1000 miles away and not marry your high school sweetheart, there is a very strong karmic lesson that involves you living your life in your own way and not sacrificing your dreams to meet others’ expectations. She may be devastated by your choice and you have probably done this together many times before. And if the girl gets pregnant to force you to marry her and stay with her, that’s another karmic cycle at work.

Being responsible for someone’s pain is like giving them a hammer and then feeling bad because they use the hammer to beat themselves over the head, and further, taking full responsibility for their actions because they hurt themselves.

The fact is everyone owns their part of the karma and that split is 50/50 – yes we each own half of the karma so we are limited to healing our half, our part. No one has 100% of any karmic interchange. Remember the karmic mirror, what you do in one lifetime you get to see from the opposite perspective in another lifetime. So the abuser because the victim, the tyrant becomes the servant, and the poor become rich.

We must stop taking responsibility for the things that do not belong to us and the greatest gift we can give to someone is to recognize their energetic sovereignty. This means we hold their power and choices in the highest esteem. It also means that we do not take responsibility for their choices or for being the cause of their pain.

I know this is a tough subject because we want everyone to be happy and to be 100% OK with our choices and if they aren’t we can think we are being mean, inconsiderate, or causing them pain. If we truly believe this, are we willing to manipulate our choices to suit them?  But then who suffers and when does this stop because it is simply a repeat of the karmic cycles we have with others. If we do not allow ourselves to be responsible for others’ choices then we cannot allow them to blame us for their suffering (nor can we blame ourselves).

The reality is that everyone is on their individual path towards ascension which is a journey that moves us from the healing of karmic cycles to the wholeness of being energetically integrated, to the congruence of being in our divine energy and with our energy flowing in harmony. How we get to the state of divine congruence is up to each one of us individually and no one has the power to stop our ascension or block our growth unless we allow them to.  That knowledge allows you to choose what is right and best for you, without fearing that you’ll create more karma, cause someone pain, or have to change your plans to meet someone else’s expectations. Shine on brightly and align your energy with your intended outcomes to create the joy that you want in your life.


If you like this article and would like to work with me because you are ready for profound personal and spiritual transformation, consider a personal intuitive consultation or intuitive coaching, where we work together to examine your life path, purpose, potential, and possibilities and help you choose one that will bring you the joy, abundance, love, peace and power that you are ready for. Click here to explore the possibilities for transformation.

Copyright (c) 2018 by Jennifer Hoffman. All rights reserved. You may quote, copy, translate and link to this article, in its entirety, on free, non-donation based websites only, as long as you include the author name and a working link back to this website. All other uses are strictly prohibited.

Energetic Congruence, Christed Awareness, Martyred Healer, Empowered Master, Life Re-Vibed, Energetic Significance, Light Age, Light Beacon, and Enlightened Mastery are trademarks of Enlightening Life OmniMedia. High Vibes Living® is a registered trademark of Enlightening Life OmniMedia, Inc.






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