You Don’t Dis Your Mother

A recent conversation with one of my sons, who doesn’t always agree with me on issues and who vents his frustration with me at times, went like this:

Son: All of my friends agree that my dad is being a jerk.

Me: He isn’t being very reasonable, I agree. I wonder what they think about some of the things that I tell you.

Son (in a very serious tone): Mom, there’s a difference between a guy’s mother and father. You can call your father a jerk but you can’t do that to your mom. And none of my friends would ever ‘dis my mom, it just isn’t done. I wouldn’t do it to them either. That would be really rude. I can’t believe you don’t know that. (dis is short for disrespect)

Mom:  I’m really glad to hear that, so maybe next time I tell you something you don’t like you won’t disagree with me?

Son: I may not agree with you but I will still respect you and I won’t talk about you to my friends.

Hmmm, a double standard, for sure, but there’s a much different relationship between sons and mothers today, I see it around me all of the time. There is a closeness between boys and their mothers that is much different than in other generations. The boys are willing to be loving, sweet, vulnerable and open, which is much different that generations before them. They need this kind of relationship with their mothers and it’s part of the gift they are bringing to the planet, the re-balancing of the masculine and feminine energies, from the imbalance which was created as part of the Atlantean Paradigm.

Have you noticed that previously violent sports are now less violent, there’s more attention paid to the risk of long term injury, and boys are less likely to want to play these sports in competition-driven ways? Many boys today don’t have it in them to be driven to win without an equal dose of fairness and compassion. They are more interested in connection than competition, in sharing than in taking everything for themselves. And they’re more concerned about social benefits and are aware of others’ suffering because they are empathic and want to be part of the movement towards creating good in the world. We’ll see much more altruism from these generations who want to part of a transformational movement that is altering humanity.

Moving into a higher expression of our humanity requires the introduction of different energies who are not comfortable with the ‘old’ ways. Their task is not easy because they have to move beyond what is expected of them (boys will be boys) and take a stand for what they want to change. But this is beyond simply wanting change, they are not energetically and emotionally built to embody the old masculine paradigms. They have a different energetic balance and frequency and they put compassionate and connection first, even if it means they don’t care about winning (or are willing to assert themselves to try), as much as having fun and enjoying themselves in the process.

Society will adjust to these new energies over time, and we have already seen many of these changes take place. My heart sings when I see the interactions between sons and their mothers, and observe their kindness, compassion, and vulnerability. Their hearts are wide open and in their quiet, soulful way, they will take steps to create the paradigm they want to live in by being quiet observers of the status quo and passively resistant, by not participating, in what does not feel right to them. They care less about what the world thinks of them than what they know they need to do in the world. And they will succeed because they have loving mothers, whose insights and input they will respect, acknowledge and encourage (most of the time) and who will encourage them to be the loving, compassionate souls that they are.

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