Dear Jennifer, I have been living this healing path for 30 plus years I am 58 and I feel more lost now than ever. And at this stage I have no money to continue on and I am unable to find the answer to how or why I have done this to myself. I do grow everyday and there is big healing in my life. Am I just confused or doing something wrong? When does this healing journey end? I’m so tired of feeling like everything always falls apart.
Answer: Do you feel like you are going around in circles? Maybe I should use the word ‘cycles’ because healing happens in the four stages I describe as the process of Spiritual Initiation, which is discussed in detail in Ascending into Miracles. The steps are birth, when a healing cycle starts, the trial, where we experience the challenge, the lesson, which is what we intend to learn from the challenge, and then enlightenment, where we put it all together, heal, learn, grow, transform and then move on. Your cycle moves between the first three steps and never gets to enlightenment.
My question for you is, if you are not going through some aspect of healing in your life, what would your life be like? And that is the key to moving out of the lifeless vacuum you feel your life has become. You have to allow yourself to be healed and whole, to have the joy, abundance, success, love, and peace in your life that you never seem to accomplish because you believe that healing is your life purpose and it is, but we must eventually move beyond the healing and into wholeness.
Many Lightworkers hold the martyred healer paradigm and it has been part of our service to the world. I believe that to maintain the balance between light and dark in the third dimension, we agreed to hold energetic space for more darkness than others so humanity could eventually achieve ascension. But it’s time to let that go, and we no longer have to be the space for that darkness. The problem is that we have done this for so long that we don’t know how to be victors, instead of martyrs.
Can you give yourself permission to be whole, to acknowledge your completion and move into enlightenment? This means you have to release the need to hold lower vibrating energies and allow yourself to be a ‘whole healer’ who leads instead of teaches, who experiences all of the love, abundance and joy that you try to create on behalf of others. Make a commitment to allow abundance into your life and you will experience it. Let go of your martyr paradigm and experience the higher vibrations of the victorious healer, one whose light is a brilliant example of what can be experienced when we stand in the light and allow ourselves to receive all of the blessings our loving, benevolent Universe has to offer.
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