I don’t like the month of July. It’s a time when I am sad, get depressed, feel unmotivated and vaguely uncomfortable for reasons I don’t understand. And this has been going on for decades – I dread the month of July and know that it is not going to be a good month for me. But why? One of the wonderful things about Mercury retrograde is that when we are ready to know, the truth is revealed and we remember so we can release old beliefs, habits, attitudes and perceptions about ourselves and our lives. For me, the current Mercury retro revealed some interesting memories.
I think I was twelve or thirteen years old and that year, in July, my brother and sister had been invited to spend the month with relatives. They left and I stayed home. Now I don’t remember all of the details but even the prospect of having my own room for a month wasn’t enough to make me feel better. Instead, I felt rejected, abandoned, unwanted and unloved. In my twelve year old mind, no one wanted me to spend time with them. And I was unhappy, depressed, unmotivated and resentful that they got to go somewhere and I didn’t.
So every July I feel very alone and isolated. Now I know that I can change that but before I could change it, I had to know what to change. When this memory popped up, out of the blue, in response to my question of “Why do I always dread the month of July?” the source of my discontent was crystal clear and I could proceed with the healing and release work I needed to do. It’s still July but I feel much better about it and can take steps to shift my feelings and beliefs so it’s a happier time for me. And next July will be different too because I know that I need to take extra care with myself, maybe even plan a fun holiday so I have something to look forward to.
I also feel this way about November, which is the month I became paralyzed in 1963. Ever since then, my most unpleasant, challenging and paralyzing life experiences always happen in November. I’ll be doing some release work to clear that before that month comes up. While some people really dislike Mercury retro because it can interfere with our communications, travel and plans, it’s also a time when we can stop and take inventory of our emotions, beliefs, habits, perceptions and thoughts. Do we do what we want and what serves us, or are we on autopilot? Are we truly happy with our life or is there something that is bugging us, just under the surface, that is impacting us in unconscious ways? Mercury retro is great for getting to the core of those issues and that is where we are now, at our core level of healing.
So use this Mercury retro to sit back, relax, take a deep look at your life and ask some questions about things that are bugging you. You’ll get the truth when you are ready for it. You may, as I did, remember something you had forgotten, from long ago, that has created beliefs that don’t serve your joy or peace. And then, with Mercury retro, you have all of the time and energy to clear them so you have can proceed to create a more fulfilling, joyful and abundant life in which you know that you are loved in all ways and everything in life serves you.
Copyright © 2012 by Jennifer Hoffman. All rights reserved.