Dear Jennifer: I am ending a romantic relationship that I know has been multi-dimensional and in which I have felt unhappy and unfulfilled for quite some time. My boyfriend started the release process by doing things that clearly let me know he wanted out but I had been feeling our connection slipping away before then. He has admitted that we need to go our separate ways and I have released him energetically. But I want to hear him say “I release you, I set you free” to end it. I am thinking about this a lot and I know it’s preventing me from moving on. Why do I feel this way and what can I do about it?
Jennifer’s Answer: Multi-dimensional relationships are hard to get closure with because we often feel empty, taken advantage of and undervalued by the person we thought was so connected to us in so many ways. You don’t need to hear the words from a high heart perspective, it is your ego which is reminding you that there should be some sort of validation of the time, energy and effort you have contributed to this relationship. If you can resolve that, you can let go of the need to hear the words. There is another aspect to this that involves trust, of both you and of him, that involves your karmic contracts.
These kinds of relationships involve strong karmic and healing energies that represent lessons for both people. But if you enter the relationship as the other person’s healer, you think that all of the lessons are theirs and ignore your own. The words are important to you because on an emotional level, you want some respect. Saying those words lets you know that at some level he acknowledges that he has aligned with some of the healing you have brought him and the relationship was worth the love you so openly, honestly and willingly shared with him. There may be a tiny bit of resentment there as well.
On an energetic level, to hear the words means that you have proof that the karma is over between you and you no longer have to engage in this way, with this person, again. This is a trust issue because in these relationships we return with our karmic partners in many lifetimes to help them complete their healing. By asking him to say the words, you want him to acknowledge that he will no longer call on your participation in his healing journey.
But you don’t need that because when you are finished when you say you are. You responded to his call for assistance in this lifetime. Did you have expectations of it becoming a more fulfilling, evolved relationship? Did you hope that ‘this time’ it would be different from the others? How much effort did you put into his healing, at the expense of your own love, joy, and peace of mind? Are you just beginning to be aware of the many times that you have done this and that it has turned out the same way each time?
The words you need to hear are your own, “I release myself from the karmic obligations I have created that involve healing others and I now allow myself to be in joy in my life, to know peace, abundant love, and freedom to choose the highest expression of my energy on my path.” With this release, you won’t need the validation your weary healer’s heart needs to know that it can let those who need healing find another teacher and you can live your life in joy with someone who is healed and whole.
Do you know what a multi-dimensional relationship is? Read my blog article ’10 Signs You are in a Multi-Dimensional Relationship by clicking here! It has been one of my most widely read and shared blog posts ever (and I’ve been writing these messages for 11 years).
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