Dear Jennifer: I have been diligently cutting cords and releasing members of my soul group. These have been very painful relationships and I realize that by embodying the martyred healer paradigm I have been stuck in healing cycles for many years. Now I’m ready to let that go and to become more powerful and purposeful in my life. The problem is that everyone I have cut cords with has stopped talking to me and my children won’t even let me see my grandchildren. Have I done something wrong?
Jennifer’s Answer: You have not done anything wrong by cutting these cords but there is another step that you can take to re-establish the relationships in your life. Once you step out of the martyred healer paradigm and stop taking on all of the healing in your soul group, they do not know what to do because their source of energy is gone. So when you withdraw your energy, which is the way they connect with you, there is no more connection. You were the giver and they took energy, there was no exchange because they gave nothing to you in return, which was how your connection was structured, under the martyred healer paradigm.
Now that you have cut the cords, you can invite them back into your life by setting some energetic boundaries and defining how you will interact with them. You do not have to do this in person, it can all be done energetically and that is the best way. So decide, with each person you have cut cords with, what kind of relationship or interaction you want to have with them. Do you want them to be considerate, thoughtful and respectful? Do you want them to treat you in a specific way? Set that as an energetic boundary. Then, in the same way that you connected with them to cut the cords, invite them back into your life within the boundaries of your intention for these relationships.
This is an invitation, which they can accept or reject. In order to accept it, they will have to find their own inner sources of energy because they won’t be able to draw from you as they did in the past. It may be a little awkward or confusing for them at first but they will adjust and adapt to it. You are setting a new paradigm for your soul group and it will take some time for them to integrate it. Also, be aware that some may not be able to do that and you will have to accept their choice. They may not know how, or want to, be more powerful or respect your boundaries. You will have to let those people go and trust that in time they may be back in your life, or not.
When we heal our soul group relationships we set new paradigms and this can be especially difficult when the martyred healer paradigm is in place because you are the soul group healer. The loss of that energy means they have to take responsibility for their own healing and that can be a shock to their energy system. But you were right in cutting those cords and releasing yourself from that obligation so you can move forward with your life. Now you can create a new paradigm for your soul group interactions and invite them back into your energetic space so you express a greater level of your power and they are able to do their own healing work within the context of their energy and not yours.
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