Q&A: I Have Cut the Cords & Everyone is Upset!

Dear Jennifer: I used the Cord Disconnect & Healing meditation to cut cords with people in my life and while you said that it doesn’t hurt anyone to do this, why are all of the people in my life upset? I can feel their pain and their sense of abandonment and I feel bad because I think I created that. Did I do this the wrong way and did I hurt them?

Jennifer’s Answer:  You did not hurt anyone but you did shift a lot of energy and energetic connections. The process of disconnecting just releases how you connect to others and how they connect to you. This will create some upset in the people who are used to having your energy available to them in a certain way and acting accordingly. Now they have to rely on their own power and they can be feeling a little lost. They do have choices, to adapt to the new connections with you or to find someone else to connect with them in the old way.

If this has been going on for a long time they will be upset and feel abandoned but that is partly because you have been supporting them energetically and they feel the vacuum. Their feelings of abandonment are also a way for them to pull you back into supporting them energetically. Do you want to do that? Because there is another way to help them overcome this temporary feeling of loss and abandonment and connect to their own power, instead of using yours. And you can do so with compassion and not pity.

The power and energy vacuum that now exists in their life (because you have disconnected them from your power supply) can be filled by you and your energy, if you choose to reconnect the cords. Or you can teach them to acknowledge their own power and create the connections from within so they don’t need to use others’ power and energy.  You do this by seeing them as powerful and not feeling guilty for what you think is being the source of their discontent

Consider that you have been supporting them energetically for a long time. How much longer do you want to do that and what other options are available to you and to them? The power you give to them or allow them to have or take is power that you cannot use in your own life, for the fulfillment of your intention, dreams and purpose. And the energetic space they are holding for you, to be dependent on you, creates a purpose in your life that doesn’t support any of you.

Acknowledge their abandonment by helping them find new source of power and new ways of being powerful from within, without re-establishing the cords that allow them to drain power from you. If you ‘feel sorry’ for them you are expressing pity and that is a disempowering energy. When you acknowledge their power you are expressing compassion and that empowers them and you. And then you can also find ways of being powerful that do not involve being others’ source of energy because you have felt powerful in that role and it is time to re-purpose that power in your life. So you are also going to have to find new ways to use your energy and to connect with others as well.


Copyright (c) 2012 by Jennifer Hoffman. All rights reserved. You may quote or translate this article, in its entirety, on a free website or blog, as long as you include the author name and a working link back to this website.



  1. I have been reading these in such a detached manner, then when it happened to me, boy howdy was that hard. Still is. I had to do it one on one, not only through the medication, one person lives next door. It created some very, very ugly exchanges. I think in my heart it needed to be ugly as to be more “final” but then I still want to go back and fix it. I can see now what you have been saying. I appreciate something to turn to when this happens. I don’t like this kind of “pain and mean” caused when you say we need distance.


    • What is it about this exchange that makes you feel so bad Kitty, and why do you think you need to mirror this energy for the person? It is hard when it becomes personal, then it moves from an ‘oh yeah’ moment to a real understanding and connection. Good for you that you recognized it and now just see it as a healing moment and move on. There is nothing to fix. Listen to this week’s radio show, Nov. 14, and do the energy meditation there, http://www.blogtalkradio.com/jennifer-hoffman is the show page link.

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