Q&A: How much karma am I responsible for?

Dear Jennifer:  No one in my family seems to get along and I have done my best to try to act as the referee in many situations.  But then everyone gangs up on me and I’m the one who suffers. I know I have karma with them but is getting them to love, honor and respect each other (and me) part of my karmic journey? How much karma am I responsible for in my family?

Jennifer’s Answer:  Your family members have karma on two levels, with you and with each other. The karma they have with you is what you can resolve. What they have with each other you are not part of and have no power over. While it is distressing to feel the conflict between them, it is for them to resolve and if you try to come between them, they will gang up on you because you are interfering in what they need to work out with each other. If they were ready to do this, they might be more welcoming of your assistance.

While it may sound strange, one way that we resolve karma is to refuse to participate in it. The karma you are aware of in this lifetime is part of a longer and much more complex karmic cycle with your family members. Your desire to help them heal their karma comes from your fear that they won’t heal their karma and you will have to come back and help them. You may also be remembering lifetimes where their fighting and discord were detrimental to you in some way.

This is also an alignment issue, you are aligned with their healing while they are aligned with their karma. Until they also align with their healing and see that as a potential for themselves, they will not be able to see your desire to heal as anything but a threat and will see you as critical and judgment of them and what they are doing. Even if it makes them uncomfortable, this is the path they have chosen until they decide they want to do something else.

Is it possible that this family is helping you understand the importance of releasing your shared karma and helping you stay focused on creating your  highest good, joy and peace? By seeing how much they reject your help, even though it is heart felt and is offered with the highest intentions, you are being shown that they are not ready for the healing you want for them. And by trying to make them heal the karma they have with each other, you are not focusing on the most important healing in your life, your own. So forgive yourself for thinking your karmic healing depends on theirs, and release them from this cycle with you. Then move into your own joyful, karma-free life and when they are ready, they will find their own path to releasing and healing their karma.


Copyright (c) 2012 by Jennifer Hoffman.  All rights reserved. You may copy, quote, reprint or link to this article, in its entirety, as long as you include a working link to this website and the author’s name.



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