When I was growing up I heard ‘Don’t be selfish’ a lot from my mother. As the oldest child in the family, I always had to share everything with my siblings and cousins. And when I didn’t feel like sharing I was called ‘selfish’. So I learned that if I wanted to focus on myself I was being selfish and that was a bad thing. But if we don’t learn how to be self-ish, meaning to own our power and to be in our own energy, then we never develop a strong foundation of self identity, self control, and self awareness. Things have changed, it’s selfie time and becoming more self-ish actually makes us more powerful, fulfilled, and whole. Isn’t it interesting that we can actually take ‘selfies’, photos of ourselves, at a time when taking care of our needs and being self-ish is required on this next part of our journey.

There’s a way to be selfish that is not the bratty way where we insist on being the most important person in the room, in ways that exclude everyone else’s needs or wants. We become self-ish without being selfish through self awareness. When we’re self aware, we know what we need and channel our energy into creating those outcomes for ourselves. We are in a state of receiving, not taking, and we are consciously creating our reality, step by step, outcome by outcome. In fact, it’s when we aren’t allowed to be self-ish, or take care of ourselves,that we become selfish, as a response to never having our needs met.

As our needs are always met through our energetic intention, which also allows them to be fulfilled in miraculously creative ways, we connect with others at the point of fulfillment, and not from the point of being needy. So we are always whole and complete, which creates feelings of confidence and joy in us and that expands into other areas of our life. Taking care of ourselves, maintaining strong energetic boundaries, being clear about what we do and don’t want in our reality may be something others call selfish, but being truly self-ish, taking care of ourselves, is the only way to manage our energy.

From that point, we are able to share with others easily and gracefully, because we share from our whole self. We can easily be both giver and receiver, giving from our abundance instead of trying to fill our needs any way we can, and receiving effortlessly because our intention opens us to receiving blessings, while fear shuts us down. We also don’t engage in jealousy, envy, and harbor feelings of lack. What others have becomes an option we can create for ourselves, if that is aligned with our intention and outcomes.

But being self-ish doesn’t mean that we keep everything for ourselves and never share. In fact, we can afford to be more generous when we’re self-ish because we have more to give.

How can we be both selfish and generous? As a self-ish, self-aware person, we use our energy to get our needs fulfilled, which doesn’t mean we’re out in front, grabbing things so no one else gets them first. Self-ishness lets us see the world from a point of infinite abundance and unlimited possibility and potential. Whatever is right and best for us can be ours, when we intend it as our outcome. Otherwise, we aren’t interested.

We use our energy to set strong boundaries that allows everything we need to connect with us in powerful ways. And from this point of confident power, we know that we will always be fulfilled and in the joy we allow ourselves to have, we don’t ever feel isolated, abandoned, or unsupported because by being self-ish, we are always whole and complete, fulfilled and filled full of what our heart desires.

Is it time for you to be self-ish? Here are 5 ways to be more selfish in your life:

  1. Be clear about what is important to you and what you want. And ask for exactly what you want, not what you think you can get. Don’t worry about what anyone says or thinks about it. You are responsible for what gets manifested in your life.
  1. Know that what others have is available to you when you are aligned with it. There is enough for all and what attracts your attention is an invitation for you to set an intention for it.
  1. Set strong energy boundaries, my favorite is ‘Everyone in my life loves, honors, and respects me and everything in my life is a source of love, peace, and joy.’ Use it daily, it helps manage your energy boundaries and keeps your energy flowing towards your intentions.
  1. Release what doesn’t serve you or make you happy. If it isn’t a source of joy then it isn’t something you’re aligned with. Let it go so something else can take its place.
  1. Realize that you aren’t hurting anyone by being self-ish, or taking care of yourself and fulfilling your needs. Everyone is responsible for their own joy and abundance and when you take care of yourself and show them how confident, happy, and at peace you are, you set an example they can follow.

Set an intention to be self-ish, to take care of yourself and set an energetic path to have your needs met. You can be self-ish without being selfish and when you meet your needs, you become a source of inspiration for others.

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